|
Administrator
Currently Offline
|
Posts: 4170
Join Date: Jul 2007
|
Church Bulletin Bloopers:__
>
> _Thank God for church ladies with typewriters. These sentences
> actually appeared in church bulletins or were announced in church
> services:
>
> Bertha Belch, a missionary from Africa, will be speaking tonight at
> Calvary Methodist. Come hear Bertha Belch all the way from Africa.
> ---------------------------- --
> ----------------------------------------------------------
> The Fasting &Prayer Conference includes meals.
> Ladies, don't forget the rummage sale. It's a chance to get rid of
> those things not worth keeping around the house. Don't forget your
> husbands.
>
------------------------------------------------------------------------
----------------
>
> The peacemaking meeting scheduled for today has been canceled due to
a
> conflict.
>
------------------------------------------------------------------------
----------------
>
> Remember in prayer the many who are sick of our community. Smile at
> someone who is hard to love. Say "Hell" t o someone who doesn't care
> much about you.
> --------- - --- -----
> ---------------------------------------------------------------------
> Don't let worry kill you off - let the Church h! elp. *-
>
------------------------------------------------------------------------
---------------
>
> Miss Charlene Mason sang "I will not pass this way again," giving**
> **obvious pleasure to the congregation.
>
------------------------------------------------------------------------
----------------
>
> For those of you who have children and don't know it, we have a**
> **nursery downstairs.
> ----------------
>
------------------------------------------------------------------------
> Next Thursday there will be tryouts for the choir. They need all the
> help they can get.
> ----------------------------------------------------------! -------
> ---- -------------------
> Barbara remains in the hospital and needs blood donors for more
> transfusions. She is also having trouble sleeping and requests
> tapes of Pastor Jack's sermons.**
> **-----------------------------------------------------------
> -----------------------------
> The Rector will preach his farewell mess a ge after which the choir
> will sing: "Break Forth Into Joy."
>
------------------------------------------------------------------------
----------------
>
> Irving Benson and Jessie Carter we re married on October 24 in the
> church. So ends a friendship that began in their school days.
>
------------------------------------------------------------------------
---------------
>
> A bean supper will be held on Tuesday evening in the church hall.
> Music will follow.
> --! ------- -----
>
------------------------------------------------------------------------
--
>
> At the evening service tonight, the sermon topic will be **
> **"W hat Is Hell?"
> Come early and listen to our choir practice.
> ------------------ ------ --
> --------------------------------------------------------------
> Eight new choir robes are currently needed due to the addition of
> several new members and to the deterioration of some older ones.
> ----------------------------
> ------------------------------------------------------------
> Scouts are saving aluminum cans, bottles and other items to be
> recycled. Proceeds will be used to cripple children.
>
------------------------------------------------------------------------
----------------
>
> Please place your donation in the envelope along with the dec! eased
p
> erson you want remembered.
>
------------------------------------------------------------------------
---------------
>
> The church will host an evening of fine dining, super entertainment
> and gracious hostility.
> ------------------------------
> ---------------------------------------------------------
> Potluck supper Sunday at 5:00 PM - prayer and medication to follow.
> ------------------ ------- ---
> ------------------------------------------------------------
> The ladies of the Church have cast off clothing of every kind. They
> may be seen in the basement on Friday afternoon.
> -----------------------------------------------------
> -----------------------------------
> This evening at 7 PM there will be a hymn singing in the park
> across from the Church. Bring a blanket and come prepared to sin.
>
------------------------------------------------------------------------
--------------
>
> Ladies Bible Study will be held Thursday morning at 10 AM. All
> ladi! es are invite d to lunch in the Fellowship Hall after the B. S.
> is done.
>
------------------------------------------------------------------------
--------------
>
> The pastor would appreciate it if the ladies of the congregation
> would lend him th eir electric girdles for the pancake breakfast next
> Sunday.
> ------
>
------------------------------------------------------------------------
------
> ----
> Low Self Esteem Support Group will meet Thursday at 7 PM. Please use
> the back door.
>
------------------------------------------------------------------------
----------------
>
> The eighth-graders will be presenting Shakespeare's Hamlet in the C
> hurch basement Friday at 7 PM. The congregation is invited to attend
> this tragedy.
>
------------------------------------------------------------------------
----------------
>
> Weight Watchers will meet at 7 PM at the First Presbyterian Church.
> Please use large double door at the side entrance.
> ---------------------------------! ------- -------
> -----------------------------------------
> The Associate Minister unveiled the church's new tithing campaign
> slogan last Sunday: "I Upped My Pledge - Up Yours**
__________________Lucas McCain the Rifleman: A man doesn't run from a fight, Mark...but that doesn't mean you should go running *to* one, either.
|
